Filling the Vessel

An exploration on how to tap into creativity even in challenging circumstances

Fill your vessel. Put your oxygen mask on first. Tend your own garden. I understood what these common sayings meant, but I didn’t really get it. 

It took my husband injuring himself twice for me to comprehend that my body is the vessel. But I couldn’t figure out how to take care of my body when everything fell on my plate so he could focus on healing himself. What was I supposed to do with the limited amount of time I had? Drink water and buy flowers?

While meeting my basic needs always helps, I learned (and I’m still learning as we’re in the thick of it) that even though he’s going through a tough time, that doesn’t mean I have to be, too. I still have to take care of myself because if I don’t, just like a vase without water kills flowers, my creativity dries up, and my writing suffers.

Our Second Trip to Japan

When my husband and I went on vacation to Japan in November, he injured his back. At one point, it got so bad he passed out from the pain. I will spare you the juicy details, but it scared the shit out of me. Thanks to the good medical system, we were able to get help right away. And thanks to our insurance it only cost us $80. Magic! 

Unthawing

After we made it back, and multiple doctor visits later, he was in full-on recovery mode. However, I realized my nervous system was still in a freeze state. I couldn’t touch my writing. Things weren’t flowing. My creativity had withered.

I had my first taste of needing to take care of my vessel. This process involved closing trauma loops. When my nervous system unthawed and I felt safe to be in my body, I could access my intuition and creativity. I’d never made the connection that the state of my nervous system impacts my writing.

Over the past five months, his back has fortunately recovered. The body is miraculous! I’ve been able to write.

Canceling Our New Zealand Trip

During the recovery process, he injured his neck a few of weeks before our trip to New Zealand. Thankfully, it isn’t as bad as the back issues! He doesn’t need help pulling up his socks or chauffeuring to his appointments. Still, it is causing him significant discomfort, and this time, not wanting to take any chances, we decided to cancel our trip.

When we stopped flip-flopping, decided, and called the airline, magic happened. Our non-refundable tickets were fully refundable. We easily canceled and refunded every reservation from Hobbiton to the hotel as if we’d never even planned the trip. Weeks of agonizing over the decision and the resolution took two phone calls, a few emails, and less than thirty minutes in total. 

It still blows my mind that it can be that easy. Of course, it sucks we’re not going on the trip, but it’s reassuring to know we made the right decision. If anyone else has experienced magic lately, please share! I love it when magic happens in daily life. 

Staying in My Own Lane

Something interesting happens whenever my husband injures himself. I mother him and turn into his therapist/coach. Eek! I know. It’s hard seeing my husband in pain and him not being able to do the things he loves. (He’s very passionate, maybe too passionate, about his work.) But I wasn’t trusting that he could figure things out on his own. Pain is one of the greatest teachers. He’s on a healing journey, and I was robbing him of it. 

The universe gave me another opportunity to surrender and focus on staying in my lane. I used his predicament as a distraction and excuse from pursuing my dreams and desires. When I stopped taking care of my vessel to take care of him, which included errands, grocery shopping, and several other things he’d usually take care of, I felt exhausted, writing became a slog, and drafting my one-page synopsis was excruciating. I did it, but it was slow, hard, and unpleasant. I’d sucked all the joy out of writing and life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not abandoning him. Most things, like grocery shopping and several other household chores still fall on my plate, so he can focus solely on recovering. However, this time, I’ve shifted my energy expenditure. Instead of giving it all to him, whether or not he even asked for it, I’m focusing on myself. 

Taking Care of the Vessel

As a manifesting generator, I need a lot of movement. (Human Design is one of many resources available to learn more about yourself. If you don’t know your human design and want to learn more, you can get your chart here.) 

Walking, weight lifting, yoga, and sprinting help me move emotions through my body. When I write, particularly an emotionally resonant scene, I often cry! Things get stuck if I’m not moving enough. 

Working out is one of the first and easiest things to cut when life gets busy and stressful. But that’s the worst thing I can do if I want to take care of my vessel. Movement helps me return to my body. When I’m in my body, I can much more easily access my intuition and creativity, which allows the writing to flow. 

What's fun is that filling the vessel can have so many interpretations of what works for you and your body. Focusing on daily movement is just one example of how I’m caring for my vessel, even though it’s a challenging time. After I read, listen, or watch something, I hate feeling that I'm not doing enough and having to add something else onto my plate. When I feel overwhelmed, I often need to take things off my plate. Even though it's hard, I don't cut movement because I know how much it helps me stay sane. I hope this helps you think about your non-negotiables in challenging times to keep the creativity flowing.  

Book Talk

One of my favorite pastimes is reading! I truly believe that I always read the exact book I need to read. The divine timing was no different for Witchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady Hendrix.

“Girls,” she said. “Gossip is the mark of a low character. What happens to other girls here is none of your concern. Tend to your own gardens. You are here for one reason and that should be enough to occupy your minds. However, I have no choice but to address a certain matter. After this, consider the subject closed.”

When I read that last night, I was like, seriously, I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase tend your own garden and sure enough, the book proved me wrong! While the book covers a heavy topic, I love how the girls are finding their inner power in impossible circumstances.

Conclusions

Yes, some of you might think my husband is allergic to vacation. We’re all working on unlocking new levels of expansion. But I hope to remind you that magic is everywhere. Keep your eyes peeled! When things are tough, it’s ok to focus on yourself so you can show up as your best version for others. The world can use more well-resourced humans. Let’s go tend our own gardens!

Sending you lots of love and fairy dust, 

Liza